thoughts on change...

I have come to realize that in today's world people are so distant from eachother. We rely on facebook, email, txt msg, instant msg more than face to face interaction or over the phone talking. Some of the people I considered friends on facebook I wouldn't be able to recgnize in the store cause they don't constantly update their photos. That's pathetic that I have let things come to that and I think it's ok. I am at the point I want to take charge of my life and start making things the way I truly want it to be not what I will settle with. I have started to reconnect with friends and I realize that most people are not even close to what they try to purtray on the web. Some of the people I considered close are actually using me to get something. When you start to really look at people and stop with only looking at the good and overlooking all the bad and see people for who they really are, you will be surprised at what you will find. I have overlooked a lot of good friends for stupid little mistakes and almost ended those friendships. When taking a closer look realizing these people I need in my life. I find the people with major problems and bad streaks more interesting to me cause I find they need me and the friends that have it togther don't need me in the same way(so I make the good friends little mistakes a big deal cause I'm pushing them away). So I over look them and spend so much time with the wrong friends. It stops now and I'm only going to spend time and energy on the friends that truly deserve it. I'm going to stop going for people with issues I can fix or attempt to fix. I just want to be a friend and have friends that we don't try to change eachother or fix one another but just enjoy eachother the way we are. We can talk about our problems and be there for eachother but no more trying to fix things. It takes so much energy to worry about others all the time and be so involved in others lives that eventually you lose yourself in trying to make others happy. I am working on my marriage and making huge leaps in progress. I have changed my focus on fixing our relationship, being a better mother and a better me that I can say I love. It's a hard journey to realize your own mistakes and start changing. Change is scary but neccessary to get from unhappy to happy.